Decisions
by Wuv
Summary: Decisions are hard to make sometimes, and what do you do when you make the wrong one, one that ruins someone's life?


My first attempt at a songfic. I'll not tell you who this is about, but you'll be able to tell. The song is Sic Transit Gloria, Glory Fades by Brand New. My favorite song in the world, and since I love it so much, I could so see a HP songfic out of it. Besides, Whitney told me that it would be good. And since it had two votes of approval... 

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Brand New, the song Sic Transit Gloria, Glory Fades, Harry Potter, or any of the characters therein. That belongs to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

Keep the noise low, She doesn't want to blow it.  
Shaking head to toe while your left hand does the show me around Quickens your heartbeat, It beats me straight into the ground-

She hoped she knew what she was doing. She told herself he needed this. After all that had happened, he needed some rest when his work was done. Yes, that's what she told herself. She told no-one, who would believe her? Support her? She didn't know. So she kept to herself. Her heartbeat quickened as the moment came nearer and nearer.

You don't recover from a night like this.  
A victim, still lying in bed - completely motionless.-

So many things could go wrong. He could be scarred for life. Though, how would that be any different from what he was right now? All she knew was that this might be good for him. Couldn't hurt to try.

A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.  
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets barely whisper,  
This is so messed up.-

She blinked hard against the thoughts of what could go wrong. But, he had a voice and free will, if he didn't want it, he could stop her. Right? Couldn't he? She prayed she was doing the right thing.

Upon arrival the guests had all stared,  
Dripping wet and clearly depressed, he'd headed straight for the stairs.  
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch.  
Unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.-

He knew better than to walk into that Great Hall. He knew better. When he neared the huge doors, he could hear the cheering. He knew everyone was in there celebrating, and he'd never get any peace if he went in. But he did it anyway. He had to. He was the one they wanted to see. In their eyes, there were no others that had fought for them. There were none that had lost their lives, Nothing but the fact that he was alive and his enemy was not. That's all that mattered to them. He opened the door.

There he was. Dripping water and blood, there he was. Pinkish water pooled at his feet as he stood, as they stared. He knew it was a mistake. Everyone watched his every move, Didn't bother to tear their eyes from him, from his bloodied and battered body. He didn't speak, just turned around and walked out. As he neared the stairs, the silence was deafening. They didn't care about him. They only cared that the threat was gone.

He entered the common room. It was then that he noticed, someone had been missing at that last battle. Where was she? You couldn't miss her fiery hair, not in that sea of black. He didn't care. All he wanted to do was go to sleep in his four poster, and sleep until no one remembered what he'd done. And that's when he found her.

He keeps his hands low,  
He doesn't wanna blow it.  
He's wet from head to toe, and his eyes give her the up and the down.-

There she was. That unmistakable fiery hair sifted across his pillow, the burgandy sheets illuminated more curves than it masked. He willed her not to move, not to uncover more of that lucious body to his hungry eyes. Those eyes that raked up and down her body, lingering a little longer than nessacary where he wanted to see, to touch, but knew he couldn't. The water continued to pool on the ornate carpeting.

His stomach turns, and he thinks of throwing up But the body on the bed beckons forward, and he starts growing up.-

Oh Merlin. Why was she there? What was she doing? What was she thinking? He felt sick, he didn't know what to do.

She watched him, seconds slipping by into minutes as her eyes ravished him. What was he thinking? Was he going to come to her? Was he going to run? Would she have to do everything? She crooked her index finger at him.

He watched as she beckoned. He knew that all he wanted to do was go to her, explore her, but that was the last thing he needed to do. He went to her. It was all his feet would do. He had just cheated death. He felt like a different person. And this new person would do this. So he went.

The fever, the focus,  
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.  
Die young and save yourself The tickle, the taste of.  
It used to be the reason I breathe, but now it's choking me up.  
Die young and save yourself.-

She hits the lights,  
This doesn't seem quite fair.  
Despite everything he learned from his friends, he doesn't feel so prepared.  
She's breathing quiet and smooth,  
He is gasping for air.-

"Nox." She whispered.

He was beginning to wonder if he'd made the right decision. There he lay under her, nude as the day he came into the world. And he didn't know what the hell he was doing. It didn't seem right, her knowing so much more than him. He knew nothing. Some had told him that when the time came, he'd know what to do. They'd lied. He didn't know anything, and he was scared. He could see her chest moving smoothly with each breath she took, while he gasped raggedly. And it wasn't right.

This is the first and last time, he says She fakes a smile, and presses her hips into his.  
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.  
He's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like.-

"Never again." He whispered to her. She smiled a bit, then pressed her hips against his. Against his will, he felt himself react to her, pressing into her stomach. He fought it. It didn't seem right, seemed like she was seducing him. He felt like it should be the other way around. His hands were balled into fists, bunching the sheets beneath him. He wanted to hold her, wanted to touch her. And he wanted what she did, but he didn't. He shut his mouth hard, trying to not to tell her what he felt.

He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.  
She's moving way too fast, and all he wanted was to hold her.  
Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.  
He whispers that he loves her, but she's probably only looking for So much more than he could ever give,  
A life full of lies and meaningful relationships.-

He felt helpless in her gaze. She held him with her eyes and her hands, holding him still with strong arms and stronger eyes. She touched him with one hand, stroking him. He could feel himself stiffening, and he shuddered helplessly. He wanted this so much, he could taste it. She pressed her lips to his, molding their lips together, skillfully sliding her tongue past his parted lips. He moaned and arched his back at her taste and the way she moved against him. He was fighting it. He wanted it so much, but he didn't. He was so lost.

"I love you." He whispered to her. She grinned against his lips.

"No, you don't." She ran her fingertips lightly across his chest, pausing at his taut nipples. He moaned again loudly. He knew that this was the only time this would happen. She wanted more. She wouldn't have done this otherwise, he knew her. With some boys, she was flippant, but she did love him. And he didn't love her, like she did him.

He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides,  
He waits for it to end and for the aching in his gut to subside.-

His hands tightened painfully, wrapped in the sheets. She either didn't notice, or just didn't care, as her hands continued their exploration of his body, pausing slightly to cause him utter pain. He hated her right then. Why did she do this? He was broken even more than he was to begin with. His body fought this thinking, his traitorous body. He closed his eyes and wished for an end.

The fever, the focus,  
The reason that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.  
Die young and save yourself.  
The tickle, the taste of It used to be the reason that I breathed, but now it's choking me up.  
Die young and save yourself.-


End file.
